Revising with Williams

I chose to revise a section of 'Final Examinations' in the EMU online catalogs using Williams writing guides.

Original text in catalog:

Final examinations are given by instructors to help evaluate a student’s achievement in a course. Whether or not that evaluation shall include the final examination shall be determined by the instructor in line with departmental and University policy. If a final examination is not given, the scheduled examination period shall be used for other class activity.
If a final examination is given, students shall take the examination with their own class and at the hour indicated on the examination schedule. Failure to take the examination at the scheduled time will result in a grade of E in the course, except when the requisite conditions for granting an I are present.

If the student finds that he/she has three examinations scheduled on one day, he/she may request the instructor of the class having the first examination of the day to arrange to take the examination at another time. If he/she finds that he/she has four examinations scheduled for one day, he/she may request the instructors of the first two examinations to make arrangements so that no more than two are scheduled in one day. He/she may appeal to the head of the department in which the course is offered if a satisfactory solution is not reached.

My revision:

Instructors use final exams to help evaluate how well each student has learned the subject. However, a student's final grade from that course may or may not include the points earned on the final exam. Each instructor, using departmental and University policies, determines how the final grade is calculated. If no final examination is given, the instructor must use the scheduled examination period other class activity. If a final examination is given, students must take the examination with their own class and at the time already scheduled. Any student who fails to take the course's final examination at the scheduled time will receive a grade of E. An incomplete (I) can be given if University or departmental policies permit.

Student who find that they have three examinations scheduled on one day may ask the instructor administering the first examination of the day to reschedule the examination for another day or time. Students that have four examinations scheduled for one day can ask the instructors of the first two examinations to make arrangements so that no more than two are scheduled in one day. Any student who is still unable to arrange a satisfactory final examination schedule may appeal to the course's department head.

I find my revisions much less stuffy and more accessible to readers. I especially wanted to get rid of the he/she's. I have to tried use William's rule about keeping the subject and verb close together.

Strunk and White: First Impressions

My first impression of "Elements of Style" by Strunk and White was that it's a very useful little book to have for any writing class. Some of the rules they demand the reader follow are debatable, especially rules 1 and 2. One has to remember that the first part of this book was written about 80 years ago by Strunk. E.B. White added to it over several decades. Prof. Strunk lived 1869-1946. E.B. White lived 1900-1990 roughly. When Prof. Strunk first started teaching, the education field did not have a national body to promote a standard of teaching English. Also, childhood education was not compulsory. A lot did not attend school or attended only a few years. Prof. Strunk's students were not used to writing English a certain way, so he created his own standard. There was an Eastern board elite that liked to promote itself as the ideal speakers and writers of English.

The speaking, reading and writing of American English has long been shrouded in controversy, debate, and politics. "Elements of Style" is Strunk's (and White's) take on the issue.

Peer Review Recap for Writing Technology Invention Essay on Google Docs

Jeff and Beth and I were in one group for the peer review project. I found their comments about my 1st draft helpful. Beth advised me to not make so many short and choppy sentences (although they are complete sentences). I didn't realize I was writing so many. In fact, Strunk and White advise against this also. Jeff advised me to expand on my ideas and use actual quotes from our readings. I had referenced three of the writings in this draft, but just gave a general overview of what the writing is about. I agree I should use actual quotes also. Actually, I had already made several changes to my draft stored in my personal home computer. I also had a lot of typos. But all of my drafts have typos. They will be corrected.

Jeff and Beth said they liked how I explained my project. I just need to flesh out my ideas more.
I don't think either was overly nice or overly negative in their review. I found their feedback useful.

My Writing Technologies

I type on the computer nearly everyday-at work and at school. I also type on the computer for personal reasons. I make files in Microsoft Word for any plans that I make or things that I need or need to do. I started out typing on the "traditional" typewriter. When I first started working in the early 1980's, the stand alone word processor was widely used along with the traditional typewriter. I worked for a major recycling company in Maryland from 1990 to 2004. When I first started there the traditional typewriter was still being used and the manager loved to write lo-o-ong memos and letters. Within six months I convinced him to get a stand alone word processor which was leased! This machine actually could be changed from a word processor to typewriter with a flick of a switch. By 1996, personal computers were installed which had all the Microsoft office packages including Word. However, we kept the word processor (which by then had been purchased). This company I went to after I left recycling company had mainframe computers for data entry (I was a data entry clerk). However, I didn't type much correspondence. There was an old typewriter on the lower level for typing envelopes.

Currently, I work for a retail uniform store. We have personal computers and I use Word and Excel nearly everyday. However, we have a typewriter also. Mostly I use it to type labels and envelopes. The manager uses it to fill out bids and RFQs.

My writing technologies have changed with the times. I can remember making graphs and charts by hand with some text literally cutting, pasting and photocopying to put it all together. I am familiar with Adobe Photoshop and other photo editing packages. I do a lot of tables in Excel.

I still write in long hand a lot using pen and pencil. I hand-write school paper outlines along with ideas for the paper. Then I start typing in Word. I am alway scribbling out lists. I like to write in longhand but I have terrible handwriting, so if I have to give someone a messagew, I type it. My manager, who handwriting is as bad as mine, is always criticizing my handwriting. It makes me angry.

What is style?

Style is how one presents oneself to world. The presentation can be verbal, written or physical or a combination any two or all three. Style can be subtle or bold or in between. It can be soft or hard. It can be formal or informal. In relationship to writing, some writers are very formal, stiff even. They prefer the passive voice, unusual or archaic words. Some write in the latest slang, the sentences are run-on or cut off almost unfinished. Some books are written in an easy, breezy style. You can read them very quickly. Style is also the outward manifestation of our personalities and often our cultures.

Pam Vanderbilt's Blog

Hi, Prof. Krause, my name is Pam Vanderbilt and I am in your M/W English 328 class. My blog site is pams328blog@blogspot.com