Revising with Williams

I chose to revise a section of 'Final Examinations' in the EMU online catalogs using Williams writing guides.

Original text in catalog:

Final examinations are given by instructors to help evaluate a student’s achievement in a course. Whether or not that evaluation shall include the final examination shall be determined by the instructor in line with departmental and University policy. If a final examination is not given, the scheduled examination period shall be used for other class activity.
If a final examination is given, students shall take the examination with their own class and at the hour indicated on the examination schedule. Failure to take the examination at the scheduled time will result in a grade of E in the course, except when the requisite conditions for granting an I are present.

If the student finds that he/she has three examinations scheduled on one day, he/she may request the instructor of the class having the first examination of the day to arrange to take the examination at another time. If he/she finds that he/she has four examinations scheduled for one day, he/she may request the instructors of the first two examinations to make arrangements so that no more than two are scheduled in one day. He/she may appeal to the head of the department in which the course is offered if a satisfactory solution is not reached.

My revision:

Instructors use final exams to help evaluate how well each student has learned the subject. However, a student's final grade from that course may or may not include the points earned on the final exam. Each instructor, using departmental and University policies, determines how the final grade is calculated. If no final examination is given, the instructor must use the scheduled examination period other class activity. If a final examination is given, students must take the examination with their own class and at the time already scheduled. Any student who fails to take the course's final examination at the scheduled time will receive a grade of E. An incomplete (I) can be given if University or departmental policies permit.

Student who find that they have three examinations scheduled on one day may ask the instructor administering the first examination of the day to reschedule the examination for another day or time. Students that have four examinations scheduled for one day can ask the instructors of the first two examinations to make arrangements so that no more than two are scheduled in one day. Any student who is still unable to arrange a satisfactory final examination schedule may appeal to the course's department head.

I find my revisions much less stuffy and more accessible to readers. I especially wanted to get rid of the he/she's. I have to tried use William's rule about keeping the subject and verb close together.